July 13, 2009

The task begins of scheduling appointments for Mom with the doctors now involved in her care.  I feel the most important ones are Dr. Powell, the oncologist, and Dr. Moser, the nephrologist.  Dr. Moser is a partner with Dr. Imler, the kidney physician she has been seeing for the past several years.  She respects and likes Dr. Imler, however, at the hospital, Dr. Moser said he would be caring for her from here on.

I call the office of Imler/Moser and I get the nastiest, most unkind secretary I've ever spoken with.  I am aware that my nerves are frazzled and that I'm very much on edge, so I try harder to be calm and nice.  She tells me that I have to decide between Imler and Moser.  I explain what Dr. Moser said at the hospital, but I also tell her that Mom has always had Dr. Imler as her physician and likes him.  She tells me it's either 'one or the other' and to decide.  I, very calmly and fighting tears, tell her that I feel the doctors should make that decision.  She argues and says very rudely that both doctors are very seldom in the office together and that would be difficult to do so it would be quite awhile until she could get me the answer.   Then I begin to cry.  I tell her that obviously she has never dealt with anyone that is dealing with a loved one with cancer or she would be kinder.  She informs me her mother died of cancer.  I just hang up, feeling a tiny bit guilty that I didn't tell her I was sorry about her mother.  Her poor mother.

July 11, 2009

From this day forward, I don't want Mom to stay alone at night.  Not because she is not physically able, but because, as we all know, in the dark of the night everything seems worse, and as we lie in bed unable to sleep, the night gives way to our most worrisome thoughts.

Matthew is going to stay with Grandma some nights.  This is a huge help to me.  I know there is no one she'd rather have stay with her than her family, and I know she'll be extremely happy to have him with her.

July 8, 2009

Dr. Moser, the kidney doctor,  was the first to deliver the blow.  "You need an oncologist."  That damn "C" word again.  Even though I thought I had prepared myself for this, I wasn't ready.  When he said those words, they hit me like it was the first time I'd ever heard them.  My sisters and niece were there and we all knew we had to keep ourselves together for Mom.  A bright spot was when the Dr. Taylor, the urologist ,said that her other kidney looked great!  We were really happy about that.  Dr. Solomon, GI, noted she had gall stones, but those had also shown up when Mom had her appendix removed two years ago and were nothing to worry about.


July 9  An ultrasound shows Mom's liver looks good, too.  They noted that there is a 'cobblestone' look to it, but Mom explained that they found that 13 years ago when she had her nephrectomy.  At that time they sent a piece of it to three labs and no one could come up with an explanation for it.  It's possibly a sign of cirrhosis caused by drinking alcohol or Hepatitis and neither of these things applied to Mom.  A doctor along the way referred to it as 'cryptic cirrhosis".

A Dr. Brennen took a biopsy of the mass today.  During this procedure, the techs caught Mom's arm in between the gurneys and tore her skin pretty badly.  Now we're nursing that, too.


July 10  Shortly after lunch, Dr. Moser came into Mom's room and told her that she had to leave the hospital "now".  He said someone behind an insurance desk was dictating that she had to leave, and that he didn't agree with it.  We packed Mom up in a flurry and left.