Mother's Day 2010

Tomorrow is my first Mother's Day ever without my mom.  Those holidays come and we take them for granted, doing the usual.....We visit Mom/Grandma, take her a gift that we've bought especially for her, have dinner, then go home...back to our usual routine.  As I type this, I'm looking out my window and there is the biggest, brightest, most beautiful rainbow in the sky.  There is no rain.  I just ran out and took a picture of it, and it is already starting to dissipate.  I really believe that was from Mom, saying Hello, knowing I'm writing this and thinking of her.  It is gone.  Just like she is.  I have no doubt we'll be together once I join her, but on this first Mother's Day without her, I'm sad that I don't have her to hug, to see her beautiful crooked smile, to laugh with, and to tell her how much I love her.  My hands ache to touch her hands, my arms ache to hug her, my heart aches to have time with her.  Yes, those past Mother's Days were special, but not nearly as special as one would be now to spend again with my mom.