September 18, 2009

Mom ate a whole donut for breakfast this morning, and for lunch a couple of bites of a hot dog sandwich for lunch.  David brought her a milkshake but she couldn't drink it.  She feels bad that she is wasting food. 

Joyce came from church to give Mom communion.  Joyce is so good to Mom and Mom always appreciates her visits.  She is going to come more often now.

Mom needed to go to the bathroom and it took Kris, Tina and I to get her there.  As she sat there, she got weaker and weaker and couldn't hold her head up.  I let her rest her head in my hand until she was finished.  Mom had a bowel movement but there was bright blood in her stool.  I gave her a sponge bath, which she said felt real good, then we carefully got her back in the bed and knew that she couldn't get out of the bed again.

I called Hospice and told them about the blood in her stool, and her increased weakness.  I can also tell that there is blood in her urine.   Lisa said she'd be out soon, and she was.  BP 108/48  She said that we should keep Mom comfortable and agreed that she shouldn't get up.  Mom is concerned about having a bowel movement in bed but Lisa assured her we would take care of it without a problem.

I walked out with Lisa when she left so we could talk more in depth about Mom.  She gave us the book "A Different Season" to read.  She said that she was bleeding internally and that is why we are seeing the blood in her stools and urine.  She could hear the rumbling of blood in her stomach.

I told her that Krista and Tina didn't know whether they should go home on Sunday.  She said, "I wouldn't.  I'd move mountains to be able to stay at this time as her days are numbered."  Of course, I asked the obvious, yet impossible to answer question...how long.  She said, "maybe by Sunday, but if not, certainly by the first of the week."  She explained that Mom is shutting down rapidly.  I realize this especially when I think that last Sunday, Kris and I left her alone for a few hours to go to the fair and she walked out to the kitchen  alone and got herself something to eat.  That was just six days ago.  Today she is bedridden, with a catheter, and weak as a kitten, as Mom would always say.  I told Lisa that we didn't know whether to tell her or not that she wasn't going to get well.  She said that we'd have to make that decision and referred us to the book she gave us again.  I said I felt that she'd go faster and Lisa said that might be true.  She said that if there were out of town family members, they should be called in.  Krista called Frank and he, Lindsay, Rylie and Thomas left for Kenton.

While we were standing on the porch talking to Lisa, Eddie went in and gave Mom her mail, also Aunt Ruth Ann and Aunt Janet came to see her.  I left shortly after that for Max's football game in Toledo.

All I thought about during the trip there and back, and the game, was whether or not we should tell Mom.  On the way home, Mike said, "I don't want to interfere, but I don't think you should tell her.  Just let her go to sleep."  I think that's right and what we should do.

ARA and Uncle Joe came to visit Mom in the evening and I know she really enjoyed that.  Kris and Tina said that Mom's heels began to hurt and she became a little restless.  When I got home she said that she was feeling very antsy and I could see it in her eyes, so I gave her half an Lorazepam and she rested well all night.

Frank, Lindsay, Thomas and Rylie got to my house about 11:30 p.m.