September 4, 2009

Overall, today was a good day for Mom.  She got her hair done and we ate at Brunson's.  She's always happy to eat there with her brother, Joe. 

My cousin, Tami, called Mom today and I got to talk quite awhile with her.  Her mom and dad, died 5 years ago, just months apart from cancer.  My aunt found out in July that she had it and died October 31.  My uncle found out just weeks after my aunt died that he had esophogeal cancer and died January 6.  I told Tami that I've thought about her, her sister, Deb, and brother, Scott, so much during the past few months.  My aunt and uncle were in their early 60's, very young.  I could talk to my aunt on the phone, but I just couldn't bring myself to go visit her.  I was so frightened by the situation.  I couldn't imagine it being anything but complete sadness, and I knew I'd cry and didn't want to make her cry, so I stayed away.  I remember Deb telling me at her funeral that she wished I would have come to see her mom.  I explained why I hadn't been there and she said, "She would have made you laugh!"  I didn't see how that could happen.  Oh, I've learned so much through this journey with Mom!  And, I see this happening with people who know Mom, too.  I've been asked several times if she cries all the time.  I say, "NO!!  We laugh most of the time!"... and I see the surprise in their expressions...just like mine when Deb said that to me.  It just seems impossible.  But I have learned an important lesson.  Don't stay away from someone who is seriously ill.  They need company and they need laughter.  I wish I'd have known sooner.